But here is the deal.
You are asleep in your bassinet and I am curled on the couch having just heard snippets of a familiar song on a commercial. The movie was Vanilla Sky- one I love. The song, called Elevator Beat, plays throughout the movie but it is especially poignant at the end. The main character has nothing left, no love, no friends, no family. He leaps into the abyss to start a new life, as a new man.
I am listening to it now, the rising and falling of the piano notes in sync with your whispering breaths. This song reminded me of that ending scene and brought salty, warm tears down my cheeks for happiness that I could die tomorrow and have lived the fullest life having held you in my arms.
My life is priceless. I am so lucky. I have you. You are my child.
There is no wealth, no other treasure that would ever make me want to leap away from this life. Having smelled your sweet, fluffy post bath hair. Kissed your full cheeks. Made you smile. Watch you track my voice from across the room. Ride around in the crook of my arm. Rise and fall on my chest during one of your many cat naps. I want for nothing.
So I say, my musical memory is pretty useful tonight. Goodnight little.