Poor.

{A letter to you both}

Welp. We are pretty poor right now. Don't worry, I am not going to whine about it. It is 100% our choice and I am loving it, despite things being tough. When your dad and I got married, we both had good jobs and with that combined income, we were doing really well. We had tons of disposable income and we put $1000 in savings every month. It was really nice. Very little stress.

Then you were born Elle and I fell totally in love with you. I went back to work full time when you were 3 months old. It was very hard and I hating missing things you were doing and missing you. When you were 9 months old, we sold a car so I could go part time (got rid of the car payment). That was a nice balance. I worked a tough shift - 6am-10am Mon through Fri. I was tired, but we did it.

Then came along the magical little Brynn. Your dad and I could not find anyone we trusted to watch the both of you. So, I gave my 2 weeks notice. I have mentioned before that your dad only works 8 days a month. He is a firefighter and makes a good living but it is nearly impossible these days to live on one income. But we are doing it. We have to really plan every expense. We are hardly saving a dime. I KNOW how bad that is- I was a financial counselor in my previous job. BUT I just cannot seem to give this life up.

We all spend more time together than any other family I know. A typical week: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs we are all home. We wake up, watch sesame street, make breakfast, snuggle on the couch. Then it is nap time. When you Elle wake up from your nap, we head out for our daily adventure. We go to a playplace, walk the mall, go to the park. Then it is dinner, baths and I go to the gym. When your dad goes to work for Fri & Sat, we usually have a playdate, see grandparents. Your dad is back home on Sun morning and it starts again.

I keep telling myself that because we are young, we have time to make it up. Time to make up the lost savings, the lost of sense of financial security. But we will never be able to get this time back. Someday soon, sooner than I want to imagine, you will both be in school and you won't think snuggling with your parents on the couch watching sesame street is cool at.all. And I will eventually go back to work and we will start saving and investing and not pinching pennies.

But that time is not now.

So I will embrace it. I will turn down invitations to eat out and I won't cry when I look at our bank account when we still have 5 days left of the month wondering how the heck we are going to make it. We always make it. We will try to do better every month. But there is no amount of money that would make me give this up right now. I am content and lucky and I know that.